God Stories From a 'Poggers' 8th grade YL Camp

Incoming 9th graders. What could REALLY happen in a short three days with a handful of six incoming freshmen. Two kids with ADHD, a couple jocks, all semi-addicted 'gamers,' one autistic, most have struggled already with anxiety or depression (especially my kid!) 

Seems like kids are so 'lost' these days. Would this be a trip to endure, or to see God move mightily? My hunch was the prior option. Yet I had made it my goal to invite as much prayer as possible to make sure we at LEAST gave God a shot.  And that we did!

After loading up in our North Spokane, 10 passenger, gas guzzling, 330K miler, non-air conditioned in 100 degree weather, mini-van, our 6 guys and I were on the road to Lake Roosevelt to Vic's cabin, laughing when one incoming 9th grader, with autism, and an avid 'gamer' belted out "this camp trip is POGGERS!" I had to  ask for the definition of that word. Apparently it is an adjective, meaning 'positive flow' or 'good times!' in the Minecraft gamer world. So, that became our theme for camp. 'Poggers.'

We arrived, settled in, I had to sneak in a zoom call with my regional team, and we headed out again for a pool party and dinner at our friends Jeannie and Herb's place overlooking Banks Lake in Coulee City. We played dunk hoops and an epic pool party and decided to create a music video. We captured scenes in the pool, a mild food fight using fruit pie, a scene in an 'Isaak Farms' hay field, and a synchronized dance scene at an abandoned barn. Can't wait to share it! (we will post it in here, the kids' YouTube accounts and on Facebook when its done in a few days.)

Upon returning back to Vic's cabin on Lake Roosevelt in Lincoln, we had our first cabin time. We read two passages in Mark about Jesus pulling his disciples away to rest and connect with Jesus. We asked what they wanted for these three days away. Every one of them had a variation of 'the grow closer to God' and 'experience adventure.' I guaranteed they'd experience this if they are serious.

Solo prayer times.

Day two, after breakfast, we had cabin time #2. We read the Lord's prayer, broke it down into how Jesus was showing us, in simple terms even ADHD 8th graders can understand, how to connect with God in prayer. Then we prayed using the P.R.A.Y. (acrostic) guide. P= Praise/thank. R= Repent. A= Ask. Y= Say "yes" to what God is asking. We prayed as a group for "p" trying to lift up as many praises and thankfuls as we could muster up. It was beautiful, and awkwardly random. Then we all shared things we wanted to repent from. I figured this would be super clunky, but it was flowed effortlessly for them. We then gave them a 10 minute time of quiet by themselves for "Ask" and "Say YES to God."  All in all, this went better than expected and when they reported how it was for them, they appreciated the simplicity of connecting with God. 

After praying hard, the rest of the day was playing hard. Paddle boarding, wave runner-ing, tubing behind Vic's watercraft, swimming, and of course, making more scenes for our music video, a parody version of Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up' but a version where the word 'never' is edited out of the song so the lyrics say 'I'm gonna give you up, let you down, make you cry, hurt you, desert you, etc.' It's laughable, trust me. ;)

For the evening, things got hella poggers. I invited our host and longtime YL leader (with me in my former area) Vic Alinen, to co-lead cabin time with me. And if you know Vic, co-lead means 'he leads.' Cabin time started with our typical 'highs and lows,' followed by some hilarious improv, and then Vic took over and we went super deep very fast. From 0 to 90 MPH in 2.7 seconds. He covered a variety of topics including but not limited to angels and demons, how video games dull your senses, being men after God's own heart, allowing God to heal our open wounds and become scars, and if they were to die tonight how confident on a scale of 1-10 would they be that they  would enter heaven. A bit of a windy road towards what God would do next that night.

Vic asked each guy how we could pray for a breakthrough for them. They each were so deeply leaning in, and each shared the most authentic responses I would have imagined. Its like...people were praying for us, for this very moment. Guys shared about needing healing for open wounds in their hearts, to embrace their own faith rather than their parent's faith, to turn from their repetitive sin, to stop 'dabbling' with God but go all in, to get in the middle of God's will not the fringes, and to let go of things that they've been holding onto for security that has no power to save or satisfy. Phew! These are 8th graders, friends! Next, after they shared this, we prayed for each, one at a time. Let me pause and rewind back to moments just before starting cabin time. I had texted an invitation for people to pray for our time. One of my prayer people, Curtis, said 'take them to the Prayer 401 level.'  I scoffed back, "Yeah, not THESE guys. Sorry. not today, maybe in a few more years."

Have you ever eaten your words? Yep. Did that. During prayer for each kid, my 'no way Jose' faith-lacking comment echoed back to me. After Vic shared a series of inspired word pictures, anointed words and prophetic challenges, he invited me to lead prayer along with him. I decided to go for 'Prayer 401.' Others and I refer to this depth as 'listening prayer.' This is where all who are present in prayer to be invited to participate in listening for any leading from the Holy Spirit. This might be a word or bible verse, or a picture in one's head, or a strong sense that seems to be originating from God's leading. 401. Not beginner prayer stuff. But the kind of prayer we see Jesus refer to in John 14 and 16, and in Acts, and peppered throughout the Bible. So I invited the kids to say 'I have something' if anything seemed to be popping up for them as they pray. Risky for these 'kids'...right?

Also, after the kids shared how we could pray, and before Vic prayed for each guy, I remembered that I did some listening prayer of my own, while on my deck a week beforehand, praying in preparation for this camp. I asked the guys if I could read the prayers I felt God had led me to pray for them a week ago. Do you want to hear something nuttier than squirrel feces? The things in my journal were almost identical to the things that the boys had just asked for prayer about, AND the words Vic had spoken about each one. It was wild. One of them asked: "Raise your hand if you are really feeling the Holy Spirit right now?" All of them did, including Vic and me!

So each was prayed for, kids interjected verses that came to mind, words that they couldn't shake from their minds as they prayed, and they laid hands on each other, one at a time. Even our autistic, ADD gamer boy had a powerful word from God to another guy.  It was...poggers, y'all!  Let's not underestimate what God can do, it is immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. God is at work. Can we listen, take a risk, speak even when timid, pray even when we think nothing will happen? Y the L not?  We left changed. Our music video is almost done. We will be reading Romans 12 together this month. And meeting again, but prayer has taken a new meaning for these guys entering HS. Excited to see what God will do!  

Week 3: Healings, Hatings, Apologies and Miracles

Our 'Canyon session 2' assignment team!

 A healing! A leader came with a long struggle with endometriosis, and a desire to have a child. She had significant discomfort throughout the week. Our head leader, Gallo, from Sunnyside/Lower Valley area, asked if he could pray for healing for her. For the rest of camp, she felt relief, and two weeks later, we received a message from her back home that she has gotten back to 'regular' lady stuff and is experiencing a full healing. Glory to God!

One girl came, who's family insistent she go, and her anxiety level was visibly palpable from the very moment she set foot off the bus to a crowd of cheering work crew. She expected that God would be both expected and forced on her. Each time in club, Tanita's messages dispelled that, with her vulnerability, voicing doubts and cultural values she resonated with, and the invitational, non-forced approach for sharing Jesus' offer of life all week long. Such a joy to see her walls come down and receive!

Jim Stuck, Hans Liezen & Jeffrey at Creekside!

At Creekside our teammates Jeffrey, Hans, Jim, Claire, Gary, Kent W and WC kid, Max Hein, are leading mightily. At the end of the first camper (4 day) week, 120 kids stood up to say 'yes' to starting a relationship with Jesus. Being such a short week, with kids coming out of a year and a half of being stuck behind screens, and little visible cues throughout the week, jaws dropped and heaven celebrated! And 80 more the next week, with two more weeks to go!

Our experience in Mission-Community together. We had a clear mission, yet we leaned into how we do 'community' together with everyone amidst all our differences. It was healing. Focus on Jesus as the center of our selves and our community here, meaning, that we would go to Jesus first with our thoughts, feelings, conflicts and priority/purpose. And that we would be 'relationship people' where we move towards each other rather than move away from them. This is HARD and holy work for many of us where seeing understanding and being honest leads to fight or flight or freeze. This past year and a half has only ecxaserbated fear of reconciling and moving towards unity. Gosh it has been heard yet healing. As we kept sharing this value, some folks serving here noted "this would be a great value for my marriage too, not just leading together!

Last week I shared about 6 kids from Lake Oswego who I had to send home early due to repeat camp no-nos. Well, this week, I received three apologies from Lake Oswego kids via email. God is still at work in their lives, even after an early exit. Pray with me for the seeds to continue to spout and grow.

Janna was having a really hard day on the last week, and she struggled all evening, having an overwhelming feeling like she wanted to go home, was tired, drained and struggled feeling that she did not fit among the community of the work crew. She had been learning (after Gallo spoke) how to pray through sadness and and learn to lament and engage on this level with God. In prayer, God lifted up her sadness, negative feelings and God reminded her that he does belong here, with these people and for His purpose. She felt tangible relief after praying. Fast-forward to the next morning, the camp doctor's husband, Glenn Snyder, co-committee chair in Chelan Valley YL, went through Janna's breakfast serving line and he told her that he and his wife Dr Jenn felt led to pray for Janna late last night, and then her placed a reassuring hand on Janna's shoulder, looked her in the eye and said the same words God had reassured her with the night before, 'we are so glad you are here, you belong here,' and walked away, Janna said it confirmation of what was happening in her prayer time with God, and Glenn delivered it without even knowing the significance of the timing, exact words and reassurance. Wow. She was so elated to share how God worked in HER life.

We had 5 of our region's DFLs here at camp at the same time. DFLs are 'Developing Future Leaders.' Our next generation of staff we are investing in as a region. Jesenia (Jess) from Wenatchee. Kali from Yakima Valley. Rissto from Lower Yakima Valley. Norma from Tri-Cities. And Nikki Mack from Spokane. Tanya helps train them throughout the year in partnership with the area directors, and our goal is that at least half of them continue on year 3 to launch a new ministry or area and we continue to match funds to help make it possible for a smoother on-ramp into full time staff and new growth. What a blessing to have so many in one place!

Last week, a kid who identifies as one of the rarer letters on the LGBT+ spectrum, came to camp, and when I was given a heads up, I prayed that they would have an incredible experience, free from any foolish words, awkward looks, and any other distraction from hearing the good news of Jesus clearly.  At the end of the week, their trip leader confirmed that indeed, 'he' had the best week of his life in every way, with not a single hint of negativity. After a year of turmoil hard pressing against YL, this added weight to our intention to love EVERY kid and welcome all.

On day 3, one kid, Kiernan, told his leader after cabin time on night 2, 'I f-ing hate you!' The leader was doing his best with a challenging group of guys who were not taking cabin time seriously and were fiercely skeptical of everything at camp. Fast forward to two days later, Kiernan and the leader had a one-on-one time together, and the leader guided him to pray to receive Christ in his heart, and he showed up to the new believers walk. God still moves mountains! And somehow, his name ended up on the cross twice. Probably that poor leader wanted to make double sure, he must have written it the second time, where 'Kiernan' was spelled incorrectly.

As Tanita, our camp speaker, prayed early in the week for kids, the Lord gave her a name of a kid to pray for-Jacob. She Did not know who this was, but was led to pray for him, whoever he was. Carson, our head leader from Coeur d'Alene, walked up to Tanita and I sharing about an amazing conversation he had with a kid named Jacob. Tanita belted" JACOB??!!" Carson looked confused, he didn't know what God had prompted her with in prayer. Carson reported about how during Tanita's message describing sin, us turning our life away from God and trying to fill the emptiness with all kinds of things that do not satisfy, Jacob said that all this sounded exactly like his life and that it was a wake up call for him to look at his life in a new, fresh way.  

Ping Pong. As though anyone cares, or my pride needs an excuse to inflate itself, I left camp undefeated in ping pong. There was a best-of-five series where a few games were taken from me by Mason Keller our WC Coordinator. Yet, Mason, Etu our musician, Nick Harris from Gig Harbor, Stan the Man Price and a kid from Pendleton were all the worthiest of opponents.

During our time off between camps, we were blessed to have Eduardo Gallo and Jillian Debritz speak to all our team of 100 folks here. Gallo spoke on praying with both lament and authenticity, and Jillian spoke on wise ways to pray through anxiety, depression and whatever you're going through. Here's Jillian sharing: https://youtu.be/U6VPgUrD5Yk  

Pacific Islander kids loved Tanita and our musician, Etu Vala

A group of Pacific lslander kids and leaders came from Salem Oregon this week. From the moment club started with Etu Finau Vala masterfully leading songs from up front, they were so dialed into camp, with the rare experience of having 'one of us Islanders' represent them up front at something like this. After they all walked up on the last morning to place their name upon the cross, they asked Etu for a picture with all of them together, thanking him for being a big part of their impact here.

Dietrich was part of 'program' as a t-rex and 'demi-gorgon' during days 2 and 3 lunch walk-ons. He made sushi, musubi for staff parties, he hosted shows for the kids on the TV there, played a lot of ping-pong, rode bikes and loved being part of the community life at camp. This was our biggest prayer (other than kids meeting Jesus, of course!) and God came through big with Dietrich enjoying this whole time serving her. 

My YL leader, DAVE! And his daughters.

My 2 YL leaders when I was in high school was Joel and Dave. Dave came this past week with his wife Kris as an adult guest. So thankful we are still together. His daughters Hannah and Sarah served on Summer Staff and WC. Such a joy! 

Over 80 kids said "YES!" to Jesus this 3rd week. Leaders had each of these kids on their 'lists' all year long, some for longer. It was an absolute honor to have front row seats as servant-leaders for them to help the kids they brought to taste and see that the Lord is good. I am tired, as is the team I served alongside. Pray for them (pictured above,) and for the property team who welcomes in the next session today. Pray for kids returning home with leaders, that the seeds fall on good soil. And pray for the kids Tanya and I are each bringing to camp experiences in a few weeks. And our biggest (selfish) prayer request was that God would sustain Dietrich over these 3 weeks, where he often comes unraveled in these assignments. This prayer was anxswered beyond our wildest imaginations! Thanks!

Week 2: 'Yada Yada Yada, he met Jesus'

Serving at YL camp for 3-4 weeks is hard work, yet is one of the best seats available to see God at work up close. I love sharing these stories with you. This 4th of July week was our smallest camp; exactly 100. (last week was 260, the group arriving today is almost 300.) We all prayed for the significance of there being 100. Like Jesus, who leaves the 99 to go after the one lost sheep, that we would each pray for and look for the 'one.' There were no shortage of 'the ONE' kids. Lost sheep. And Jesus did not disappoint. 

One kid from Vancouver, Demarii, came in with 'walls' up. His story was that he had been arrested as a kid for selling drugs. He is a gifted basketball player, potentially D-1 level. He shared with our all-star 'adult guest host' Stan Price, while shooting hoops together on the last full day, that he had no relationship or background with God. We prayed all week for him. On the last night, our musician Etu, shared his story of his dad dying, his anger with God, and entering into a life as a kid of selling drugs, then being invited to YL camp and meeting Jesus. Demarii was moved and shared that it broke him, realizing that his story did not seem to fit with anyone's or with God, but that eve, he turned his 'chair' around, he put a 'rock on the pile', and placed his name on the cross. We were moved to tears, blown away by whatever the 'yada yada yada' that took place between free time and the evening on Day 4. Jesus still lifts lost sheep on his shoulders.

One kid serving at camp knew his brother was here as a camper. Alfonso seemed completely disengaged and apathetic all week, shrugging off the messages and his leader. I wish I knew the 'yada yada yada' in between his demeanor all week and that the last morning, he put his name on the cross expressing his commitment to start a relationship with God. Alfonso's brother couldn't believe his eyes and they hugged like long long brothers reuniting. Such a beautiful sight. 

One girl named Sierra was shopping alone in the camp store. Sarah, who serves in there, connected with her and not only helped her find what she was looking for, but made a deep connection, asking good questions about how her week was going and about her life back home. After buying her items, she asked if she could just stay in the store and keep talking. Sierra and Sarah kept talking for another hour. After the store closed for the day, Sarah wrote her name on the palm of her hand to remember to pray for her. Sarah is a list person, holding to the value that names matter and to intentionally write names down to remember it and to prompt us to pray. The next day, they saw each other and the camper noticed her name 'Sierra' written on Sarah's hand. She asked to look at her hand and was moved to tears and asked what inspired that. Sarah shared how God has our names 'written on his hand' (Isaiah 49:16.) She ran to her leader, sharing how she felt so loved and seen. This was part of the 'yada yada yada' that led Sierra to put her name on the cross. So good to share God's love so deeply.

This week was a restless bunch. One of the cabins of boys from Lake Oswego had been heard plotting how they could push the limits enough to get sent home early. After multiple pranks on other cabins, disrespectful talk and behavior, being assigned to do two hours of landscape duty in the 100 degree sun, they finally crossed the line and awakened my camp directorly, papa-bear limits to actually call each of their parents at 12:45am on the final night and have them drive to camp to pick up their kids early in the morning. We were done. Sneaking out at midnight up the steepest, most dangerous hill (hella steep, rattlesnake-riddled) I know of at midnight was enough for me. It was the most loving thing to do for these kids. And for the rest of camp which could not function with them there in this mindset. Praying for these 6 boys to have taken a lesson just for them at camp, not the one our speaker prepared, but hopefully the Holy Spirit will deliver to them. Phew!

At all-camp worship, where the whole team of those serving (work crew, summer staff, a-team and camp property teams), Gallo shared about the importance of lamenting in our prayers. There are many things that really bother us in life; anger, sadness, loss, depressing and anxious feelings, shame, guilt or loneliness. We often carry these feelings without taking them to God in prayer. We feel like we can only praise him, yet Jesus modeled in the garden of Gethsemane how we need to be authentic when praying: "Father, if there is any way that you would take this cup of suffering from me, but not my will but yours be done." And half of the Psalms in the Bible are laments. We then gave our whole team an opportunity to practice this kind of prayer that starts in rugged honesty and ends in praise. Such a gift to show these young people (and old!) how to engage God rather than sit in their pain alone. Prayer is a gift!

It was such a joy to have an amazing group of adult guests from so many years of my life be here this past week, and my YL leader Dave (and Kris) Ringoen is coming today to be a guest this week.

Janna is doing awesome on WC, Dietrich continues to thrive (thank you Jesus!) and Tanya has been such a blessing to everyone here, even filled in as a Head Leader on night one and hosted a huge party.

This crew who just arrived is our final of three weeks. Stories are ready to be unfolded before our eyes, with mysterious 'yada yada yadas' that we can't explain how, as we pray and partner with God!

Week 1 Is Done: Nuns and 'ONE more' kid

Stories

During sand volleyball, one kid lost a pin that holds his watch together, making it unable to wrap around his wrist. The problem was that he has frequent seizures and this watch tracks them and gives him warnings and data. He was in tears and panic. Over 10 people scoured the sand volleyball court to find it, the guest services team even brought out a metal detector, all to no avail. We convinced him to join in club and that we would keep looking. That 'we' was Tanya, and after her scruptulous process, sifting sand on every square foot of the court, she found the missing pin for the watch, much to his relief. I always said that Tanya is a good looker. 

This has been the largest group of campers this summer. With that came really tough stories of kids, a need to report things to police, CPS and HR, all in the name of advocating for these kids' safety and well-being. I am tired. Our head leaders are too. The good news was shared with 250+ kids, and 83 kids started a new relationship with God. After they had processed this decision alone in 15 minute quiet times, during cabin times with their peers, and during one-on-ones with their leaders, they were offered a chance to express that decision by writing their name on a sticky note and putting it on the cross. Great visual. 

After all the kids came up, Tanita was closing up the time, and a kid walked across the stage in front of everyone and added their name on the cross too. Everyone clapped, it was a special moment of disregarding social conventions and caring what people think and expressing her newfound faith. After all kids were dismissed and off to lunch and their bus ride home, one more kid came up with their leader and added even ONE more name to the cross. Alyssa. One more! That is what we celebrate. One more. Luke 15 says that there is a celebration in heaven for one more person that turns to God. Will you celebrate ONE more with us?

Did I mention we had 7 nuns as adult guests this week? Yep. It was priceless to have them judge the pool olympics (nuns, judging HS kids in

swimsuits!) one nun won the crowd mixer on night one beating out the kids from Portland, they zip lines with skirts and head covering flapping wildly in the wind, yet they invited us to participate in Mass every morning at 6:30am, and we shared cabin times together than were among the most viscerally deep and powerful prayer times I have ever encountered. I'm nun the better.  

Lastly, Dietrich is doing SO well. He has been to many camps as a family member and often struggles to be here, He has made some friends, he has put on TWO sushi parties for our assignment team, he rides his bike, he dressed up as an inflatable t-rex, as Boris the Russian bowler's pet, he hides clues in all kids cabins on night one, and more. And Janna is doing great on work crew. Tired but great. Tanya has been a life saver, a great advisor, prayer-partner, and support to me as camp director as well as to the rest of the team and families.

Ava Gaffney, so thankful she came!

Lets pray for that ONE more kid. We have Pendleton Oregon, Lake Oswego, Vancouver WA and Shoreline WA coming. 

Thank you!

PS- 'Evie' (Ava) from the previous post put her name on the cross. As did Zack who lost his watch pin.

Our 'Laser Beam' God

What a week so far. It’s mid way through our first week, packed full of surprises. Most obviously, it’s been the hottest days of the past 2 decades. We have 7 nuns as adult guests. We have 6 campers or work crew who are children of significant people in my life from the past. Hot hot hot. Imagine welcoming 9 groups of busses spread out over 3 hours in 110 degree temps. That’s what we did. The work crew, program and speaker (Tanita) were champs as kids were welcoming into the best, and hottest, week of their lives. In the tail end of a pandemic after a year and a half of restrictions and separation. It’s epic to say the least. Three kids are here, originally from Colombia. Apparently they had their guard up, assuming they’d feel out of place. Their first stop was to get some ice cream where they were greeted by summer staffer, Aisha. Within the first words they connected in Spanish, realizing they were all native of the same South America country. The two campers told their leader, “okay! I feel safe and that I belong here.” That morning, Tanita (speaker) I led the whole camp staff (WC, SS, assigned team and property staff) in a message about putting Jesus at the center of our life, community and our serving here, and that we aim to create a strong sense of belonging for each other and campers who might feel left out. Tanita shared about how deeply that Generation Z longs for ‘safety’ and that although God doesn’t promise life will be safe, he is ultimately good in every way. As the Beaver said in Chronicles of Narnia of Aslan, the Christ figure, “Is he safe? No. But he is good.” Many kids came in to camp with their walls up and unsure if they’d feel safe and like they’d belong. The past year has heightened this with isolation from real conversations, division all around them, and a combination of a shaming, cancelling and judging culture seeking to conform people to overlording patterns of thought. When they arrived, our goal and prayer was for softened hearts and lowered walls in order that kids would experience the love of Jesus.

One girl I met turned out to be a daughter of one of Tanya’s and my first ever YL kids in Everett. I asked ‘*Evie’ about her parents and she shared that they were out of the picture and that she lives with her grandparents. My heart broke. Fast forward to that night. Our camp musician, Etu Vala, played a special music song with the line written for a girl, “your father didn’t say you’re beautiful, mother didn’t say I love you.” And the lyrics expressed the love of God for them. Then Tanita spoke directly to kids’ hearts about the things they use to try to fill their lives up, apart from God. She shared about the woman at the well, how she wanted life to the full, and Jesus looked past her rough story and into the possibilities she had ahead.

After club and cabin time, her leader Angela said that Evie felt that Etu’s song and Tanita’s message was like a ‘laser beam straight to her heart’ and that ‘something broke open inside her that never has before’. I asked Etu about that song he wrote and sang, he said he was praying just before club and felt God prompt him to change the song he planned to be that song. Friends, we have a laser beam focused God at work. *Evie is an alias.

Yellowstone vs Depression

Three times our family has attempted a trip to Yellowstone. Three times the plan was cancelled. Once because of the park closure due to COVID, and two times we called it off due to the miserable, dark clouds that covered Dietrich amidst his storm of depression. We could not imagine 16 hours in a car together with those tempestuous gusts and waves of sadness and misery. Depression is an unreasonable killjoy. The experience of awe and wonder of Yellowstone's vast beauty and thermal majesty is no match for the relentless brutality of raw depression. 

The Dogs and Dietrich Wait In the Car

As a family we had experienced almost complete freedom from Dietrich's depression since 2017, other than a few random geyser blasts of sadness and mud pot bubbling of powerlessness. We felt like it was time to go for it Memorial Day Weekend. We had been preparing meticulously for this 4th attempt at Yellowstone. I sent the kids postcards of bison herds, videos of geysers and glacier lakes and we aimed to empower through anticipation. Then we loaded up and headed out on i-90, and our nemesis emerged like an unexpected squall over the Sea of Galilee. The storm arose first with laborous breathing, convulsing pulsating cries followed by showers of tears. That nagging feeling of 'oh, no, not again, not NOW!' Flooded the minds of Tanya, Janna and I. At dinner in Missoula, he buried his head into his folded arms at the restaurant table, sobbing uncontrollably, feeling trapped and against his will to be on this trip. 

My mind, overwhelmed with anger, disappointment and feeling as though my dream family trip was being stolen before my eyes, defaulted to want to seize control of this storm and force my way and stop this. Yet, wisdom spoke inside Tanya and me with that Holy Spirit inspired, still-small-voice that reminded us that we had already learned this lesson. The words 'empower', 'enter in his darkness with him ', 'unconditionally love your son' and 'be with him in this' guided us along to not try to overpower and force our way against depression. We listened, prayed, went for a walk, played and laughed with our dogs we brought on the trip, told stories, and prayed again. And as it always, eventually does, the tempest subsided. Thankfully, depression never emerged again on this trip. That was all she wrote. We overcame our controlling, reactive emotional defaults and chose the better way we had learned. Why is it so hard to be overcome by emotional reactions in stormy moments rather than choose love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness and self control? Ah, how beautiful and majestic is God's presence in the eye of storms. "Who is this that even the winds and the waves obey Him?" (Mark 4:41.)

According to Dr Marty Folsom, an expert in family systems therapy, overall spiritual/relational health,  masterfully defines depression as 'a sense of powerlessness to be or do what once wants to be or do.' Tanya and I learned from Dr Marty, while trudging through the valley of the shadow of death with Dietrich in his lowest times, that the way through depression was not attempting to control or overpower the one who suffers from it, but seeking to unconditionally love and empower that person. Even when the one who suffers seems to try to pull others into the darkness and chaos, the counter-intuitive approach is to enter into the dark clouds with them, sort through the irrational logic and betraying feelings together, and patiently seek the elusive rays of hope side by side.

Friends, though the clouds, downpours of rain and gale force winds of mental unhealth surround us, especially in this semi-Post-COVID season, remember that we are not alone. God is in the boat with us. He is able. Will you react in fear and anger, or call out to him? Will you jump ship and give up hope, or learn a deeper sense of trust in the One who has a 3rd way in storms, that actually informs how we navigate EVERY kind of storm in life. "We are hard pressed on every side, but but not crushed. We are perplexed, but not in despair. We are struck down but not destroyed...through suffering we share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may be seen." Life and mental health can be hard, but with Jesus, we can do this. He is our living, active, able hope. 

Is it Jesus or the Devil Knocking At the Door?

It has been a year of zooms every week since our middle school kids have gathered in person for Wyldlife. That streak has ended last Monday, we met! All kids except for one agreed to meet up in our from yard for bocce ball, corn hole, pizza, highs and lows and prayer. It was magical; surreal even. During highs and lows, I joked to one quiet kid in the circle to unmute himself and share his screen. I think I confused him, but the others got my in person vs. zoom joke.

During the time we ask the kids how we can pray for them, each shared without having to think. Safety. Anxiety. One brave 7th grader who I’ll call Willie, courageously  asked for prayer for mental heath and against depression. The last kid, who is from a 'non-religious’ family, mustered rare courage to ask for prayer, pointing at Willie, adding, ‘yes, what he prayed for.’ My co-leader Kaeden prayed for each one, remembering all 8.

I took Willie and his bro home and the conversation led to them both wanting to read the Bible more. We agreed to read Philippians 2 together this week. Wylie lamented that he wants to, but always forgets and that he’s not good at remembering things, especially God. We talked through how to form a habit, and that the easiest way I know it 'habit stacking.’ That is to identify a habit you already have and add your new habit right after it, using a ‘cue’ to remember. He showers every night, and will now put his bible on the bathroom counter top as he starts the shower so when he’s done, he takes his bible to his room, and voila! Challenge accepted!

Fast forward to the next morning, last Tuesday. He texted me that at night, he woke up and sensed something evil, maybe the devil, in his room. He had a vision he needed help figuiring out. He explained it that his door was slightly cracked open with light shining into his room. He said he wasn’t sure if he should get up and open it, if that would that let the devil in. He asked what I thought.

    My prayerful response was to share 1John 1:5; "Jesus is light and in him is no darkness." 

 

    He responded, ‘so, maybe the devil was trying to keep me in darkness.’

 

    I agreed, adding Revelation 3:20, that "Jesus stands at our door and knocks, and that if we open the door to him, he will come in and do life together."

 

    He exclaimed, "so the light I saw outside my door represented JESUS. And i stayed in the darkness, that's why this felt evil. I have not been opening up to Jesus, but have been lazy and distracted, which is darkness, but Jesus is offering for me to open my door."

 

    “I think you got it figured out, broseph!”

 

    “Thanks Jeff, sorry to bother you at 7 in the morning.”

Friends, it is never a bother to help someone open their life’s door to God. It never gets old being up close, seeing Jesus pursue young people in ways they understand. This was a great reminder to me that God is always at work, always speaking, yet so is the voice of the accuser, cr

eating distractions and confusion. Could it be that our mission to introduce young people to Jesus is simply helping them to hear the Voice of God that has already, always been speaking to them before I ever even met them? I'm thinking most definately so. It’s not about us, but God delights to involve us in changing lives.

Prodigal Sons STILL Come Home!

I have a portrait of Rembrandt's "Return of the Prodigal Son" on the wall in my garage. It reminds me daily when I come home, that I need to daily 'come home' to God. As much as I think I have my stuff together, I depart from God daily in my thoughts, emotions, actions, lack of reliance, desire to be important and my self-protection to control life.

I was first inspired by this painting from the book bearing its' same name, by Henri Nouwen. It is my lifetime #1 favorite book. The painting hangs in the Hermitage museum in St Petersburg, Russia. In fact, I have seen it in person but had no idea the significance it would play in my life, helping me to see that I am both the lost son needing grace, the elder son needing to extend and receive grace, and am invited to become as the Father, extending grace.

Two weeks ago, I received a Facebook message that caught me off guard. Steve G, my very first YL 'kid' in 1998, who I met while doing contact work while coaching tennis, reached out to me after ghosting me over 12 years. In invested deeply in to Steve, he was one of my "3" on my discipleship tree. Right there among Casey Price, Brent Schwartz and Ernie Merino. Knowing I had invested SO much into him in HS, and losing touch all these years, I found myself like the elder son, yet wanting the heart of the father who ran to greet his lost son.

Steve and I talked for hours. He shared his journey; the successes of a thriving business, his new marriage (the elder son in me had been bitter I wasn't invited,) his daughter and second child they are expecting. Then he asked if I would baptize him. He wanted a fresh start with God. I have only baptized two people. Janna, and my Uncle George. I told him it would be such an honor. Then he asked if I had some direction I could give him on how to grow in his faith and catch up on all the lost, wasted time.

Of course, I busted out the fresh robe, the family ring and new shoes to try on. He needed to understand the grace God covers him with, his identity in Christ and new rhythms to begin walking in.

I recommended he read "Return of the Prodigal Son." Two days later, he replied, "Okay, I'm done. How did you know that would be SO perfect for me? Wow. So we unpacked it together. He went through the emotions of self-disgust for wasting so many years, yet came to terms that he wants to develop a father's heart, and asked me "how!"

Next, we began to look at how his life (and mine) can intersect with God more.  I summarized 20 years of learning into 30 minutes. Bro took notes! I shared of Spiritual Disciplines and life rhythms that could set him up to receive more of Jesus and lose more of self. I summarized 'The Life You've Always Wanted' book, pairing up spiritual disciplines with sins of commission or omission, so we are thoughtful of what we add or subtract when connecting with God. He loved it, and already has been taking solitudes to slow down, taking times of silence to listen, studying God's word to fill his mind with more, and taking weekly time to 'celebrate' and praise God to re-direct glory from self to God. 

I am finding that it is so amazing to see from the eyes of the father in the scene. To be the one welcoming, forgiving, restoring, clothing and fitting for new shoes to walk in. I know what its like to be on the other end of that story. Mentors, Tanya, friends, God...I have been welcomed back so many times when I drifted or wandered. What a joy to welcome back one of my "3." As I drive home this month, that picture will have a whole new meaning. 

Do you need to come home? Welcome others back? Seek those who are lost? Read Luke 15 all over again from the eyes of the father.

-Jeff Huber