Top 10 Mentorship Nuggets

TOP 10: MENTORSHIP LESSONS

During my sabbatical, I scheduled to meet with 5 mentors with conversations fitting with their expertise and my specific hunger for wisdom. First, I met with Bill Robinson, author and longtime president of Whitworth U. Then met counselor/theologian/author Marty Folsom. Third I met with Doug Asbjornsen, retired Navy Rear Admiral and current supervisor/trainer/EWU professor of numerous Eastern WA principals. Fourth, professional executive consultant and coach Dave Phifer from Phifer Systems, and lastly, Wayne Williams, longtime CEO of Telect in Liberty Lake. Took a lot of trimming down from a goldmine to come up with my top 10 nuggets from these valuable times.

10. Urgency Warning: Be careful when creating urgency for others.  Urgency can take folks' eyes off what is most important. Don’t use fear tactics, focus on what is universally agreed upon, and focus on essential 'positives,' not on negatives. (Both Doug Asbjornsen and Marty Folsom)

9. Narrow is the Way: When preparing to speak/write, focus narrowly on the impact you are aiming for, don't focus on coming up with content. Also, if I'm strong in having last-minute inspiration for speaking, prepare for it, yet also be ready to subtract if you do add. A 'focused less' is always more. (Bill Robinson)

8. Ask to Play: To be a great asker/inviter, share my commitments, ask permission to learn theirs and ask if they’re open to consider sharing/joining in mine. Its like asking if others want to 'play.' (Marty F.)

7. Not-Drawn-To-Scale: As a person, I don’t ‘scale’ across YL.  I’m limited as one person. Values, vision, and commitments of how we operate DO scale because others can do them too. (Dave Phifer)

6. The Best 3 Pre-Questions: When empowering and preparing for strategic movement, ask:

  a. What do you want?

  b. Why do you want it?

  c. What has kept you from getting there? Get very specific, honesty will pay off. (Dave Phifer)

5. 50% Less is 100% More: As a leader, use 50% less words, and don’t give unsolicited advice.  More words dis-empower others, creates dependence on the leader, loses clarity & transferability by sheer volume of words, and starves others from being able to process and asking questions. And, unsolicited advice often makes others feel not-smart and untrusted. (Wayne Williams gathered from John Townsend, co-author 'Boundaries')

4. The (Non) Apprentice: When empowering others to take on leadership in areas of our non-strengths, treat them as an up and coming expert, not as an apprentice of ours. First, agree on desired outcomes and set them as the CEO, and with you as working for them. You don't need to model 'how to' in order to empower. (Both Bill Robinson and Wayne Williams)

3. StrengthBlinder Finder. Utilize conversation about the 'balcony' and 'basement' (click here to try this valuable tool) of each of our strengths to bring balance & growth. Example: My top strength is 'Activate.'  My balcony: I spark movement & momentum. My basement, "Ready, Fire, Aim." I need to seek wise counsel from sequential strategic thinkers. (Wayne Williams)

2. 'Who does #2 Work For?': We can become a true 'together-together' (In Swahili: 'Pamoja-Pamoja') community when we acknowledge the Father, Son & Holy Spirit as the #1 primary ministers, not any group member/leader as the #1. Trusting God to lead can create freedom for each to share our fears, agendas, ideas and obstacles to one another rather than all needing to be controlled. Then our diverse uniqueness of perspective and background are welcomed, we can be unified as a community that listens to and follows God's lead. (Marty F.) 
 

1. A Bridge for Dinner: Meals can be a multi-cultural bridge between us and others, narrowing the gap between our ethnic backgrounds and customs. Ask to be a guest in others' homes, taking on a guest-learners posture. This can bring understanding and true unity in life & YL. (Marty Folsom)

Hope these 10 mentorship takeaways fit in a nice doggie bag for your nugget-eating enjoyment.
-Jeff-