Many times after Jeff put his name “in the hat” I wondered
what in the world we were doing. I am
always a worst case scenario person when thinking about potential
situations. I pondered the possibilities
and would say, “Can I handle the worst thing that can result from this action?” I
reasoned that if we were hearing God and should continue down this path… it
will turn out at minimum… just fine. If
we are acting as a result of bad pizza, this could be disastrous
relationally, professionally and financially.
I contemplated to the point of insanity according to ordinary standards. Finally, I was at the YMCA subjecting myself
to pain and torture, having a usual ‘Jesus moment’ (you know when you think you
are going to die), and I asked God between burpees and lunges… “so what do I
make of all this stuff? The interviews,
the questions, the huge responsibility of a new position, a move, obedience,
losing everything..” And I felt like a still
small voice say, ‘ Just hang in there. I’m
going to blow your mind.’
Well. Fanfreakingtastic. Blow my mind?
Just hang tight for a second while
I recreate your reality thread by thread. Trust me. It will be great. In fact, it will exceed your expectations. Hmm.
Am I capable of the kind of trust I’ve only read about in books?
At that point, I didn’t think we would be in. I only felt like I could rest into a
roller-coaster seat, firmly seated beneath the seat-belt, not knowing where the
roller-coaster would take me, or exactly what kind of ride I’d be on… but I was
ready to have the fragments of my mind that remained prepare for take off!
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