Not Rushin' God

In June, I was asked to consider applying for the Senior Vice President position for the Young Life over the Former Soviet Union division.  Last year, I was asked to apply back in August last year when it opened, yet it was an easy 'no' as a 'move' to Ukraine or the Baltic states was required. The requirement to move was no longer required when this job opened again, thus I was asked again.

From the day I was asked to apply, life got complicated. That next week, George Floyd's death on top of many others unjustly taken, sparked worldwide racial outrage beyond anything we've seen. A week later, my brother died, which sent my life into a daze. DoBetterYL hit in a third crashing wave and it took me a month to have the head space to consider seeking counsel and even filling out the application. I ran it by a few people and decided that I did not want to let fear stop me from stepping out and trusting that God would lead, protect and open and close doors. So I did.

Do you ever hesitate to pray, listen, step out, speak up or say yes to something because you are nervous of what would actually happen if God moved you forward into it? That was me! It was so uncomfortable to think about taking on something so incredibly different, so far from home, so complex, traveling so much, and without the incredible team I love serving with here.

Before applying, I laid a fleece before the Lord (a reference in the Book of Judges with Gideon.) That was, If I apply, Dietrich would have to fully support this decision. Fat chance, right? After the depression that hit when we moved to Spokane, it was highly unlikely he would go for this transcontinental leadership position. So, I labored to get a clear year-long schedule of what this job would look like, how many days away, how many days home.  And do the same for my current job. So I did, and I printed them out, and laid the two calendars on the table and let Dietrich look at it, ask questions, and ultimately decide. And so he did.

 

After poking and prodding, he recognized the blue and yellow lengths of time away, yet also the numerous, white blocks of time that I would be home. His question and observations pierced me. "So, I see you'd be away a lot. That's fine, we do just fine when you're gone. But, when you're home, would you REALLY be home? Because that is what I don't like; when you're home and also working, calling, texting and not really here for me." I told him that I gathered that I would be much more present with this new role since. "So, yeah, I am totally good with this job if you're more  home when you're home."

Wow. I was both stunned, convicted and overwhelmed with clarity from his response. Tanya and I had prayed that the Lord would speak to us in this process, yet little did I know HOW and what the Lord would speak. It wasn't about a 'stay' or 'go,' the word God gave me was about my son, and work/home life boundaries and presence. All those times scrolling, texting, emailing...he noticed. He hardly ever said anything but inside, it has all communicated an unintended message that I was not fully there with and for him.

After two interviews that went very well, another person was chosen for the SVP job. My Russian skills will continue to sit on the shelf and collect more dust, and the time and season that the Lord clearly has me in here is confirmed to be exactly where I should be. And the word God spoke to me wasn't about a job afterall. The courage to engage in a process revealed a much more valuable message that I had not expected. To be home when I'm home, and that my son wants me to be with Him. That was all SO worth it. 

Starting to Do Better in Young Life

The capital "C" church has struggled with how to engage with our LGBT+ community and those among us. The variant conclusions of whether people are 'born this way' or 'choose to be this way' influence how they are treated, welcomed and included. Young Life staff have a history with a wide variety of handling these kinds of conversations when leaders or potential leaders 'come out.' Often the way a leader or staff handled receiving that news causes harm. Done poorly, shame is piled on. Done well, grace and love can be expressed powerfully; whether it is 'agreed with' or not, the relationship and response is incredibly important.

In late June, a movement started called #DoBetterYoungLife, that began to share and open a medium for people to share their stories of harm, mishandling and pain of being shamed, excluded or brushed off. The person who started this hashtag and movement, a married, gay man who expressed on social media, that he walked away from the faith, expressed his own hurt from Christians and YL, and demanded that Young Life change. The message of 'do better' has resonated among staff and leaders, the awareness has sparked a major conversation that cannot be ignored. Leaders and staff HAVE to do better with kids who identify as gay or lesbian, no doubt. Based on history, we and the Church has been really bad at this. Empathy, listening without injecting opinions and 'loving regardless of response' are what leaders do in many other topics. Yet often struggle with this one, thus, training and attention is needed and acknowledgment and apologies are appropriate in many cases. We are engaging in this, from the president all the way to former and current leaders, and me. Although the message of DoBetter seems to be really saying 'believe differently Young Life' from my observation, the charge to do better is being taken on seriously.  

This past month, our Young Life region has put on two town hall type meetings we requested that all our staff participate in. The purpose was to listen to each other and acknowledge that there is a diversity of thought and conclusion from believers and staff, and that it is important to be unified rather than divided and separate like our culture is.  In these meetings, we have acknowledged the stories of hurt from people feeling excluded from staff and leadership because of YL's sexual ethic that leaders are expected to commit to as leaders of young people. In our meetings we wrestled with the complexity of deeply loving 'every kid possible' as we aim to, being as faithful to God's word as we can be of honoring how sexuality for those in leadership, according to how YL and many interpret the Bible, fits within the context of marriage. We spent time listening to BOTH sides of this theological views. We heard a thoughtful theological perspective from those that 'affirm' LGB folks in leadership. This feels risky to many to open up this kind of conversation in a live setting. Honestly, it was beautiful. Hearing a more traditional view AND what some would call a 'progressive' view in a deeply respectful, listening forum with time to break into small groups to seek further clarification, was a win. Respect. Listening. Young Life within our mission and region is committed to 'do better' yet at the same time is not changing its deeply held belief on sexuality within marriage. So its a respectful posture of 'both/and' not just 'either/or.' Comfortable yet? Me neither! I am practicing a prophetic word that I preached to all at our regional winter leadership weekends to 'be comfortable being uncomfortable.'