Friday, August 28, 2020

Starting to Do Better in Young Life

The capital "C" church has struggled with how to engage with our LGBT+ community and those among us. The variant conclusions of whether people are 'born this way' or 'choose to be this way' influence how they are treated, welcomed and included. Young Life staff have a history with a wide variety of handling these kinds of conversations when leaders or potential leaders 'come out.' Often the way a leader or staff handled receiving that news causes harm. Done poorly, shame is piled on. Done well, grace and love can be expressed powerfully; whether it is 'agreed with' or not, the relationship and response is incredibly important.

In late June, a movement started called #DoBetterYoungLife, that began to share and open a medium for people to share their stories of harm, mishandling and pain of being shamed, excluded or brushed off. The person who started this hashtag and movement, a married, gay man who expressed on social media, that he walked away from the faith, expressed his own hurt from Christians and YL, and demanded that Young Life change. The message of 'do better' has resonated among staff and leaders, the awareness has sparked a major conversation that cannot be ignored. Leaders and staff HAVE to do better with kids who identify as gay or lesbian, no doubt. Based on history, we and the Church has been really bad at this. Empathy, listening without injecting opinions and 'loving regardless of response' are what leaders do in many other topics. Yet often struggle with this one, thus, training and attention is needed and acknowledgment and apologies are appropriate in many cases. We are engaging in this, from the president all the way to former and current leaders, and me. Although the message of DoBetter seems to be really saying 'believe differently Young Life' from my observation, the charge to do better is being taken on seriously.  

This past month, our Young Life region has put on two town hall type meetings we requested that all our staff participate in. The purpose was to listen to each other and acknowledge that there is a diversity of thought and conclusion from believers and staff, and that it is important to be unified rather than divided and separate like our culture is.  In these meetings, we have acknowledged the stories of hurt from people feeling excluded from staff and leadership because of YL's sexual ethic that leaders are expected to commit to as leaders of young people. In our meetings we wrestled with the complexity of deeply loving 'every kid possible' as we aim to, being as faithful to God's word as we can be of honoring how sexuality for those in leadership, according to how YL and many interpret the Bible, fits within the context of marriage. We spent time listening to BOTH sides of this theological views. We heard a thoughtful theological perspective from those that 'affirm' LGB folks in leadership. This feels risky to many to open up this kind of conversation in a live setting. Honestly, it was beautiful. Hearing a more traditional view AND what some would call a 'progressive' view in a deeply respectful, listening forum with time to break into small groups to seek further clarification, was a win. Respect. Listening. Young Life within our mission and region is committed to 'do better' yet at the same time is not changing its deeply held belief on sexuality within marriage. So its a respectful posture of 'both/and' not just 'either/or.' Comfortable yet? Me neither! I am practicing a prophetic word that I preached to all at our regional winter leadership weekends to 'be comfortable being uncomfortable.'

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