Week 1: What I Have Learned So Far!

In my first 12 days of sabbatical, I have already picked up some incredible wisdom, am catching my breath, reconnecting quite successfully with fam, and turning my heart towards connecting more deeply with Jesus. I wanted to share a top 5 of my nuggets so far.

5. The odds are ever in our favor
   Reading 'David and Goliath' by Malcolm Gladwell has opened my eyes to see how often I miss the real odds in situations I count myself 'out' from. Goliath is easily seen as the 'underdog' when looking closer in the Biblical account: an infantry vs a precise slinger, God's favor, and Goliath's slowness. My weaknesses actually create capacities to rely MORE on others (including God!) and uncover a necessity to take risks, which create favorable conditions for success and for mountains to be moved...just like Jesus suggested. "HIS grace is sufficient for me...I delight in weaknesses, for where I am weak, I am strong' 2 Cor. 12.


4. Loving unconditionally is the 'tortoise who wins the (relational) race'
  The 50 day period of time where Dietrich spoke only twice with me, ended. The contributing factors were prayer, unconditionally loving him [even when I felt like yelling, demanding, punishing or forcing...wanting hare-like quick results], love from extended family, and anti-depressants too. We are closer than EVER now, and do feel like the posture of loving and being close with him in the midst of his shutting out of me was a big contributing factor.

3. Be still and chill. 
I am learning that I have plenty of work to do on internalizing the invitation by God to me/us: "Be still and know that I am Lord." Psalm 46:10. For an 'relational, idea-happy, activator-leader' type, this invitation to be still, to not move, to not 'work first,' but wait on God, is going to be a worthy journey for me to embark on.

2. 'Not working' is really working
Many have told me that taking a break from my leadership duties is extremely healthy for others and for me. I see Kent McDonald, Lydia Flint, Garrett Gress (social media for the region while I'm gone, etc.), the solid regional board members engaging with areas and ADs using their gifts to further the mission & more. Bill Robinson (20 yr Whitworth president) expressed to me (and scribbled on my journal, see on the right) that it is good for me to reevaluate what my time is best spent doing, allowing others to explore their best too. Upon returning, each could have a more likely chance to serve in their sweet spots, instead of in where we are not strong, yet obligated.

1.  I can be relational and influential without being ingenuine
Using strengthfinders as a resource, two of my top three strengths are 'Woo' and 'Adaptability.' Woo is a gift to 'winning others over,' to be a bold asker and influencer towards a purpose.  Adaptability is a gift of being completely engaged, focused, agenda-less, and flexible towards what serves others best. The way this looks is that I simultaneously I have no agenda other than to focus on my relationship with others, yet God has gifted me to ask and invite, which can be considered an agenda. There is a 'voice/story in my head' that these two are are in conflict with one another. Marty, my mentor and counselor, helped me see the beauty of these two gifts. And that if I see 'agenda' instead as having a 'commitment,' it creates opportunities to have conversations with people to share what I am committed to and enter into a more intimate space to learn their commitments. It is not about influencing, but knowing how and if inviting/asking is fitting. Boom. Mind blown.


Thanks for listening.

We are off to Creekside as Adult Guest Hosts during Janna's camp week July 1-5, and then to Black Butte in Sisters, OR for some down time.  Blogging will commence in a few weeks, hopefully with some more tasty, crunchy nuggets from Chef Jesus.     

-Jeff-

Sabbatical? Does that mean you're just being lazy for 12 weeks?

Janna's 13th bday party at our house with 4 friends

Four of Janna's friends came over to celebrate her 13th bday today. That's right.  We have a teenager (on June 28th officially.)  One of the parents asked me about my sabbatical. "So you just get to be lazy for 12 weeks?" He inquired? GREAT question! That would be the assumption at face value. Not many have the kind of job or organization (like YL!) where a sabbatical is offered to veteran staff.

I wanted to share what I will be focusing on.  Two posts ago I shared my 3 goals: 

1) Deeply connect through adventure and time with family

2.) Rest and reflection

3.) Sharpen my leadership and soul

For family adventure, we will and have been making intentional time together.  It has been a JOY!  Yesterday I went fishing with the kids and our trusty captain, Larry Karr, my massage therapist friend, in Snohomish at Lake Bosworth before we headed back home to Spokane. Tonight we BBQ-ed and ate those rainbow trout the kids caught. It was all an adventure, it has officially begun!  Enjoy this video of our wild day: https://youtu.be/LptKFxb1rkA 

In 2 weeks we will be in Sisters Oregon together after Janna's 5 day camp at Creekside. We return and head out to Kauai for 8 days on July 17th. In mid August we were offered a free stay in San Clemente Cali. Those are our 'big plans' this summer as a family. The hunger for us to connect as a family have NEVER been greater.  My relationship with Dietrich, and his with our family as a whole, has COMPLETELY transformed from strained, adversarial, and non-functioning...to connected, joyful and functioning to its highest levels of connection. We are giving God the glory for the transformation.


For rest, reflection and sharpening, under the guidance of my life coach Randy Trettevik and some great mentors (Dr. Marty Folsom, Psychologist Tim Reisenauer, etc,) I will be working hard to keep my soul reflections consistent. As hard as I work on behalf of others, I am looking to be similarly intentional to receive from God, from mentors like longtome Whitworth president Bill Robinson, incredible CEO, Wayne Williams who 'gets' how to build healthy, functioning, intuitively arranged teams, genius supervision expert from Spokane, Doug Asbjornsen, and one of the most brilliant thinkers I know, Dave Phifer, a reknowned consultant and coach, and a former committee member of mine in North Snohomish County (my worst attempt at leadership when I was YL area director there...but oh so valuable experience) who miraculously still wants to be my friend!  I can't wait to be sharpened under the gritty fellowship of these folks.

Pray for our family to continue to blossom during this time. Tanya and I keep crying tears of joy and disbelief that we are united so well together as a family.  We are praying for you, friends, for those in need of breakthroughs, for our YL areas this summer, for kids to encounter Jesus (including Janna and her 3+ friends she will have with her at Creekside July 1-5) for our longtime friends, and family. How can we pray for YOU?  Comment away with prayer requests or comments for us!  Thanks.

Father and Son: Reunited

Father and Son: Reunited

The book with the most impact on my life was Henri Nouwen’s book, The Return of the Parodical Son. I had figured that I had graduated past the point of leaving the Fat6her in hopes of the distant lands, yet I still do it and keep needing to returned home and be taken in by the gracious re-welcoming and reinstatement. The invitation in the book powerfully stated that we are to become as the Father, humbling ourselves to welcome and extend grace to those who left us. That invitation has become my dance to the past year and it’s been painful and stretching. 

In the summer of 2015, we as a family prayer virtually every day for the opportunity and calling to move to Eastern Washington to be regional director. We prayerfully and courageously accepted, after being convinced that God was calling us. I started September 2015 and we moved January 31, 2016. February 1, Dietrich changed his mind and no longer wanted to accept this new calling, he wanted out. 

His life became one marked with deep sadness, obstinance, anger, and discouragement from family and school. He rejected counseling, advice, input, invitations, to believe and hope, became inconsolable. Summer brought relief, yet mid fall his pain returned with even deeper emotion. This remained and hit its deepest low before, during and after spring break. He became coldly rude, unwilling to obey, and returned to destructive patterns we’d seen in the spring. We began to use a safe hold, which brought hatred and more anger. Easter, he began to repeat phrases for thirty minutes straight,” When are we done with this trip?” He did this three times and I took him to the hospital. From then until early June, he did not speak to me, which included twenty-seven days in a row. Where he completely shut me out of his life. This was deeply frustrating, hurtful, infuriating inefficient, and somewhat fascinating and impressive how skilled he was at it. So many times, when I spent time with him, asked him questions, made requests, tried to engage with him, yet was met with complete rejection, ignored, and disrespected. I literally wanted to punish him, hurt him, grab his face and force him to respond to me, acknowledge me, and have a functional relationship with me. I wanted to demand him to love me again.

Then I considered how this has been a parallel to my relationship with God. How I shut Him out, ignored His voice, pretending He wasn’t there as I did as I felt. God asked other people to speak to me, as I did through Janna and Tanya. I realized that it was my turn to be the “father.” To ache in the heart, yet continue to wait for my son to “come home.” To initiate knocking on his door, love while he was still in sin, to forgive him,” …for he knows not what he does…” and offer unconditional love with no response. It seemed to be foolish, unsuccessful, enabling posture to choose to not force or discipline, or punish him for his hurtful, vindictive, manipulative, stance against me. So many intelligent people urged me to not just let him get away with this. I agreed that my passive response, yet lovingly initiating proximity, being “for” him and showing love, was potentially a losing formula. Yet, it’s the one God showed me and the worth.  

In the midst of our rejection, rebellion, and ignoring, He forgave He paid the price, He rose again, and initiated all the more, giving power and authority to others to share good news, truth, and love with folks like me who otherwise had shut it out with our lives. This was the model set before me and one that I had to pray and with the support of Jesus, close friends, mentors, and Tanya, to live out towards Dietrich. I felt unsuccessful. Days and weeks passed with continued unsuccessfulness and ongoing rejection. I wanted to abandon the approach; hit the eject button for this fight of futility, my gut and my mind compelled me to grab his head, yell, and demand he stops and just recognize me again and do what I say. Yet, Christ’s love compelled me to keep initiating him, loving, being close and waiting for him to return from the distant land, back to his father. 

Last week, the return began. Although there was no speech prepared, no major brokenness or apology, he returned to me. I asked him a question about the sunset and about what movie he’d like to see next. He answered. We talked. We laughed, I entered my Netflix account info in the iPad and we watched Mastermind. No fattened calf was barbecued, the elder daughter and I looked at each other with dramatic, widened eyes of disbelief, silently mouthing words of awe and delight. I just rolled with the rest of the evening and week. It’s been 10 days now and it feels like “home” again. I pray that we all recognize the need we each have to give and receive grace and that we love because Jesus first love us and that would be enough to love others without condition. 

Jeffrey R Huber

I'm getting Sabba-tickled June 18th to Sept 11th

Friends-

Next Saturday, June 18th, I begin a 12 week sabbatical with Young Life.  During this 3 months of rest, having space to grow in ways that I have wanted to but the concerns of the world have choked out. My priorities are:

1. Deeply connect through adventure and time with family.

· Vacay, time with friends and the kids friends, and a few road trips together. Some plans are still up in the air, based on how Dietrich is connecting amongst the family. Want to set ourselves up for success. :)

2. Rest and reflection:

·      Work through my ‘Living Forward’ Plan.  

·      Visit Black Butte & Hawaii with fam for rest, reflection, journal, study Psalms and NT.

·      Exercise 6 days a week, 72 times in wide varieties.

3. Sharpen my leadership and soul:

·       Reading 5 books on delegation, leadership, ‘fierce’ series, and spiritual formation.

·       Study under great ‘kingdom’ leaders: Wayne Williams, Bill Robinson, D.Asbjornsen and Dave Phifer

·       Meet with Marty Folsom, Randy Trettevik and Tim Reisenauer for counsel & helping me discover insight.

Updates to come!  Thanks for being on the journey.  I hope and pray that there will be tasty nuggets to share with you.  As I freely receive from the Lord, we will gladly share.  Maybe some laughable moments will come too. :)